Most of us don’t think of ourselves as idol worshipers. But if God included idols in the first two commandments in Deuteronomy 5, He must have known we’d have a problem with them. And idols aren’t restricted to ancient man. If fact, they are more prevalent today than they’ve ever been. Bottom line, an idol is anything we put before God in our heart. It could be a job, a person, an activity, an idea, a thing, or even ourselves. Why in the world would I bring up a topic like idolatry when it comes to recovering from betrayal trauma? Quite simply because our “gods” have a huge impact on our recovery. Throughout my separation, I had to “turn away” from two idols: My husband and myself. I’m going to let my friend, Dr. Douglas Jacoby, share more details with you in this video. (He’s a lot smarter than me.) Before you start the video, check out the questions below. Stop at each one of the timestamps and answer the questions in light of what Douglas shares. Use the comment section to share your insights or join the discussion on our online community.

Questions to Consider

 As you watch the video, stop at these five points and answer the questions.

TIME: 6:30

 1. Are you looking for “signs” that your spouse is changing? Have you read intent into any of your spouse’s texts, calls, or comments?


TIME: 10:55

 2. “Their strength is their God” (Habakkuk 11:1). What does this mean to you? Have you or your spouse put your trust in “strength” or yourselves?


TIME: 14:15

 3. What does it mean to set up idols in our heart (Ezekiel 14:4)? Dr. Jacoby says that our heart is where idolatry really takes place. What does that mean to you? Do you have your spouse as an idol in your heart? What about control as an idol or the fear of rejection or abandonment?


TIME: 16:20

 4. Have you allowed your spouse or something else to take God’s rightful place in your heart?


TIME: 20:50

 5. Have you simply added the true God into your “collection” of gods? Does God have a stiff competition with the other gods in your life?

 In light of what you learned, what areas of your life do you need to change?

 Supplementary Reading:


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