Infidelity Trauma is Gender-Neutral

A special message for husbands whose wives are unfaithful or addicted to pornography.
Porn is just as real, relevant, and destructive for husbands of female addicts as it is for wives of male addicts. If your wife is addicted to porn or has been unfaithful, my heart breaks for you, maybe even more so than your female counterparts. That’s because men’s porn addiction is getting a lot of attention now because the stats show 66% of men inside and outside the church are regularly viewing porn. But the number of women who watch porn is growing (as much as 42%). There is more and more support for female spouses of addicts, but what about men whose wives are sex addicts. Where do they turn?  

Help is Here

First, I want you to know you are welcome here at Hope for Spouses. Yes, the majority of my audience is women, but betrayal trauma really is gender-neutral. It hurts a husband just as much as a wife when they find out their spouse is unfaithful or sexually-addicted. So please pardon me if I predominantly use female pronouns in my blogs or show graphics with hurting wives. I do make every effort to make you feel welcome because readily available resources for husbands of sexual addicts are probably years away. My heart goes out to you because I’m sure you also feel more alone and isolated than women in similar circumstances.  

Support for Hurting Husbands

Some aspects of being in a marriage with an addicted wife may be different for you than those who have addicted husbands, but one thing is the same—God sees your pain, he grieves with you, and he wants to be the first one to whom you turn for comfort. The second place you need to turn is to safe friends and/or a support group. I know of at least two organizations that offer gender-neutral spouse support groups: L.I.F.E. Recovery International and Celebrate Recovery. Finally, practice self-care. Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, and pursue strong covenant relationships with spiritual men who can be a “David” or “Jonathon” to you.  

Our Online Community

I also want to invite you to join our online community where you will hear your sisters (and maybe even your brothers) share their stories of pain and fear, and you can safely share yours. No matter what Satan tells you, you are not alone.   -Kim Pullen

Organizations that Support Husbands & Families of Female Sexual Addicts

Women United Recovery Coalition

A community of women, the significant others who support them, and the professionals dedicated to fostering recovery from female pornography addiction.

Changing Lanes Ministries

Changing Lanes is a ministry devoted to leading individuals and families from the devastating effect of sexual addiction. Their mission is to provide biblically-based support and restoration for people struggling with sexual sins.

Pure Desires Ministries

Provides hope and freedom from sexual addiction for men, women, and their partners as well as teens via onsite or online meetings, counseling, and special events. Another focus is educating and equipping local church leadership in developing this healing ministry in their congregation.