At the most basic level, it is most certainly God who is in control, but does that equal control on all levels? Perhaps a better question is “What has God decided not to control?”
Having faith in God in the midst of the storm of a spouse’s sexual betrayal and recovery requires more than belief in Jesus. It requires action.
To recognize real repentance and its subsequent transforming process, we need to use the Bible as a standard and the scriptural definition of godly sorrow.
Sexually betrayed spouses can find peace, hope, security, and direction when they identify where they are in the big picture of the recovery process and make steady, upward progress.
God and his Son defined and exemplified a compassionate, boundary-rich love for us, the same love a sexual addict’s spouse is compelled and empowered to have even for an unrepentant partner.
When our spouse is addicted to sexual sin, the most loving thing we can do for them and ourselves is to shut up, get out of the way, focus on our own healing, and let God work.
When we understand the biblical definition of perfection is “mature in character”, we can stop pretending we have it all together and be vulnerable, allowing God to transform us into the image of Christ.