How Truth Frees Us From a Deceived or Accused Mentality

Part 12 of the Codependent in Colossians Series

by Kim Pullen

Series Manifesto: Instead of ignoring the pain following the disclosure of our spouse’s sexual sin, we choose to use our trauma as a catalyst for growth, digging deeply into God’s Word in search of spiritual healing and transformation.

woman accused


“But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.”


In the last entry, I stated that according to verse 22, Jesus purified us with his death on the cross so that he could bring us into God’s presence (see also Ephesians 6:25-27). But the reverse is also true—God purified us so He could present us as the church as a radiant bride to his Son (Revelation 19:7, 21:9). The goal in both views is that we would not only be unblemished by sin but also free from any accusation.


Satan’s Compounding Interest

Most of us are typically either deceived or accused. It goes back to the Garden. Satan deceived Adam and Eve by accusing God of holding out on them. When they sinned, they felt accused and guilt-ridden because they believed Satan’s lie and disobeyed God.

It’s Satan’s compounding interest. He sows so little and reaps so much in return when we choose to disobey God’s very specific directions.


Habitually Deceived

My husband (Russ) and I used to joke that he was deceived and I was accused. As a predominantly “I” type personality on the DISC profile assessment scale, his default is to charge full-speed ahead into any and every situation without considering the consequences or outcome. It’s easy to see how Satan could more easily deceive my husband about the consequences of his actions.

Like most married couples, Russ and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I’m predominantly a “C” type personality. The “C” doesn’t stand for codependent. It means I’m cautious to a fault. I gather all the facts and check every detail before I take a step forward. Bottom line, I’m a perfectionist. Satan loves my weakness—a fear of criticism—so he attacks me by accusing me about everything in my life that isn’t quite up to scratch.


Lies vs. Truth

The problem with both of Satan’s ploys—deceiving and accusing—is that they are both lies. Why should we expect anything different from the Father of Lies (John 8:44)?

Jesus does neither. In fact, his goal is just the opposite. He wants us to obey the truth by discerning his voice over Satan’s siren call (John 10:5), and he wants to free us from the burden of accusations (Colossians 1:22). He says,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).

The way we distinguish deceit or accusations from truth, and the way we can be truly free of both, is by hearing or reading the gospel (Romans 10:17) and by clinging with a death-grip to what Jesus taught (John 8:31-32). That’s because the consequences of letting go or drifting away are so dire.


It’s Conditional

There’s a teaching in today’s religious circles that we can’t lose our salvation or standing with God. But Paul states in Colossians 1:23, we will only be sin- and accusation-free if we stay established, firm, and unmoved in our faith, obedience, and intimacy with Christ. The Apostle John confirms this (1 John 2:3-4) as does the writer of Hebrews (Hebrews 10:26) and Jesus himself (Matthew 7:21-23).

I get why this condition is such a big deal to God since the person who made a covenant with me and committed himself to me for life was unfaithful; he choose to renege on his promise to stay established, firm, and unmoved in our relationship. It’s like me telling God, “I appreciate your son dying for me and all, but what I want is more important than that.”

The reason my husband and I gave in to our deceived and accused states, why he chose infidelity and I chose an unhealthy reliance on my husband, and why we both committed idolatry and became slaves all over again was because we stopped holding to Jesus’ teaching and listening to his voice above all others.


Standing in the Light

Because we are fallen beings, we will sin until our dying breath (1 John 1:8). The challenge is to remain ever vigilant to Satan’s schemes (1 Peter 5:8), aware of our desperate need for Christ’s continual cleansing (1 John 1:9), connected to the vine (John 15:1-8), and transparent with others in a safe community (1 John 1:7).

Satan hates the light and tries to keep us in the dark with him so we’re quite literally blind and deaf to his deceit and accusations. Instead, Jesus calls us to stand by his side in the light so that we and everyone around us can see the truth plainly (John 3:19-21).


What is your Tendency?

Not sure if you are deceived or accused? Take the questionnaire below to help you discern yourself more clearly and use the accompanying scriptures to help you combat Satan’s lies.

Which statements run through your head most often?

“I’m not that bad”


“I’m not ____ enough for others to love me” (thin, curvy, sexy, pretty, smart, young, etc.)”

“I only sinned once; I don’t need to tell anyone”


“If I told anybody about this area of my life, they would reject me.”

“I’m not hurting anybody with my sin”


“It’s my fault my _____ (husband, kids, parents) did _____ (some sin or action).”

“God would understand why I did it”


“Nobody understands me.”

“I can’t be perfect.”


“I can’t show any weakness. I have to be perfect.”

If you chose the statements in RED most often, you most likely have a DECEIVED mentality. Toggle each statement below to find a truth to counter each lie.
“I’m not that bad.”
Revelation 3:17: You are lukewarm… you do not realize you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.”
“I only sinned once; I don’t need to tell anyone.”
John 3:20: “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.”
“I’m not hurting anybody with my sin.”
1 Peter 2:24: Jesus “bore our sins in his body; by his wounds we have been healed.”
“God would understand why I did it.”
Romans 6:1-2: “Shall we go on sinning? We died to sin, how can we live in it any longer?”
“I can’t be perfect.”
Hebrews 12:1-4: “Throw off…the sin that so easily entangles…You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”
If you chose the statements in GOLD most often, you most likely have an ACCUSED mentality. Toggle each statement below to find a truth to counter each lie.
“I’m not ____ enough for others to love me” (thin, curvy, sexy, pretty, smart, young, etc.)”
Psalm 139:14 – “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
“If I told anybody about this area of my life, they would reject me.”
1 John 1:7 – “If we walk in the light, … we have fellowship with one another and Jesus purifies us from all sin.”
“It’s my fault my _______ (husband, kids, parents) did ___________ (some sin or action).”
Ezekiel 18:20 –The soul who sins is the one who will die.” You will not share the guilt of another.
“Nobody understands me.”
Hebrews 2:17, 4:15; Romans 3:23 – Jesus understands everything we have been tempted by and all have sinned.
“I can’t show any weakness. I have to be perfect.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 –My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Download a free graphic or PDF of the questionnaire.

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